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Darts and the World's Strongest Man

Witty blog by the Guardian's Martin Kelner on British TV sports coverage over the Christmas break...

It's all over now - Phil 'The Power' Taylor takes his 14th title - as Sid Waddell might say it's like taking candy from a big fat Dutch guy. 109.75 is his 3 dart average - a new record for all tournaments.

The crowd erupts and everybody's very happy - even Barney looks relieved for it to be over - he was getting a big shoeing there.

Crowd now chanting "There's only one Phil Taylor". Barney remains in trouble - he's really only getting the big shots in on his legs and can't take much off Taylor. at 5-1 in sets to Taylor and 1-1 in the 7th set it's not looking good for the Dutchman.

It's now 3-1 in sets to Taylor and this set is 2-2 with Barney having almost taken it 3-0. Barney throwing for the set but Taylor overtakes him and it's now 4-1 in sets - is Barney finished?

The great Sid Waddell

He's a Cambridge educated guy that worked with Michael Parkinson for quite a while. Wikipedia here has a bunch of other quotes.

11 darter from Barney - despite a maximum and huge ton 40s from Taylor. Great darts. 2 legs each in 4th set. Is Taylor now going to choke this?

Barney choking badly tonight - less than 25% checkout. Fortunately Taylor misses 3 checkouts in a row leaving Barney with a chance and gets back to 2-1 in sets. Despite playing like an amateur he's hanging on in there against some big stuff from Taylor.

Barnevald just seems to be chucking the darts randomly at the board right now, a bit like the amateur on Bullseye - he's not even close to the trip 20 half the time. Perhaps he's been paid to throw this?

More random Wadell: "With the heat he could generate he could throw daisies through a glacier"

Barnevald in really deep shit here - he's missed all his checkouts and therefore has lost the first two sets 3-0.

I'm watching this on Betfair's live video channel - a bloody good find for obscure events. However I'm spending more time watching the test card during the ad breaks than the darts.

"It must be a real cultural experience for her" - Sid Wadell commenting on the ladies world champion being in the audience.

Frankie Dettori in the audience - nice touch. Didn't know he was such a fan of the arrows. Also Robin Van Persie - no doubt supporting the big guy.

A few more quotes from Wadell that I found on the internet:
"This lad has more checkouts than Tescos."
"We couldn't have more excitement if Elvis walked in and asked for a chip sandwich."
"He's as cool as a prized marrow."
"He looks about as happy as a penguin in a microwave."
"Eat your heart out Harold Pinter, we've got drama with a capital D in Essex."
"It's the nearest thing to public execution this side of Saudi Arabia."
"Darts players are probably a lot fitter than most footballers in overall
body strength."

The guy is a genius.

2 minutes of quotes from Wadell:
"Who needs wind farms when a short stocky fella from Stoke can generate power like this"
"Tickling the tungsten"
"Taylor is going like an Inter-continental ballistic tungsten missile"
... bloody hell. This guy must be taking something.

Anyway Taylor takes the first set in about 6 minutes flat. At this rate we'll be finished in less than an hour.

Things building up nicely for the final here now. Lots of drunken fans, women in short skirts, lasers etc. - this is kind of Oktoberfest meets a working men's club in Warrington with a bit of Cream thrown in. Big atmosphere.

Taylor takes the first leg - Barney responding with a maximum and Sid Wadell is already getting on my tits.

So tonight is one of the biggest games in darts history. Taylor vs Barnevald, the rematch (their 2007 final went to Barney 7 sets to 6 and was a scorcher). This is potentially the darts equivalent of the "Thrilla in Manila" although being the second big match up between the pair it might be more like the second Ali-Frazier fight, universally acclaimed to be as dull as dishwater.

History suggests Taylor, who's had a slightly easier run to the final (and has won the final 13 times) but Barney is certainly up for it this year - his 9-darter in his quarter final just a marker of his class. Unfortunately for the big Dutch Flintstones character the odds are well against him but it could still be a cracker.

I've been trawling through wikipedia and old news articles today to find out why are there two world championships in darts?

It all starts way back around 1992 when 16 players (Phil Taylor, Dennis Priestley, Rod Harrington, Alan Warriner, Peter Evison, Richie Gardner, Jocky Wilson, Eric Bristow, Keith Deller, John Lowe, Bob Anderson, Cliff Lazarenko, Kevin Spiolek, Jamie Harvey, Mike Gregory and Chris Johns) decided they needed more cash (to be honest it was a pretty poor life as a darts professional back then) and / or a better 'profile for world darts' which I guess means having fewer fat blokes on stage drinking and smoking (isn't that a bit like turkeys voting for Christmas however?).

These players formed the World Darts Council (WDC), later the Professional Darts Corporation (PDC). During the 1993 World Championship, the players wore WDC clothing and were told to remove it (not a pretty sight perhaps) by the BDO (British Darts Organisation, organiser of the World Championships). The players were a bit cheesed off and basically from then on went their own way with the PDC becoming more of an organisation to make cash and market darts and the WDF (World Darts Federation, of which the BDO was a founder) still in theory the governing body. Each of these two main organisations has their own World Championships at this time of year and in general players from one side of the fence can't play on the other side.

Is this the future of Formula 1 post-Bernie Ecclescake?